Feminist by observance

Dedicated to all my female friends and readers....

Some days back I wrote something...something written in a spate of anger, so did not share it. After all, as is said, "Words spoken in anger cannot be taken back." But today, while clearing up my system (file system obviously!) I came across this piece again, and reading it in retrospect, in an unbiased manner, I realized that I still found it true. So I guess it's safe to post them now...Some of you may find it a little strong, but well so is Espresso and still people love it.

"There’s always an MCP within every man. However nice, caring, sweet, helpful, and all other adjectives that women generally use when they need to convince themselves to marry a guy. There’s a little kid in every human, and there is an MCP in every man. The office team or group of colleagues go out for drinks and/or lunch/dinner, so does he. Try that yourself, and you can’t do so without answering questions like where’re you going, who all are going, what time will you be back, how will you come back, did you/do you plan to drink….and the list goes on, until he has made sure you feel guilty about having come at all while you nurse your first drink. Ever tried asking a man what time he will return from office; well, that’s something every woman does, and I’d like to meet one who has not heard the reply, “how do you expect me to know so soon in the day”, or the simpler version, “I don’t know”. You try giving the same answer, and chances are you will hear him tell you not to take your work so seriously, else your boss will make you sit late always, or simply not to take so much stress. Of course, this is in the rare occasion when you don’t know how late you might have to work. Because, women generally know when to work and how to work, call us better organized, good at planning our work or good at getting our work done. No wonder women make better mangers! By the way, have you ever tried to go to an office party, by which I mean an official late night dinner party without your partner. Chances are you will see a long, brooding face when you reach home, that refuses to talk to you, except maybe tell you to go to sleep since it’s late. Quite a dampener on all the high spirits you gained at the party. Oh! You could try asking your better half to cook, start to finish, right up to clearing the table, while you watch TV, when you both return from work and see his mood at the end of it all (and they ask why women lose libido after marriage!). Would like to meet someone who hasn’t come across at least one of the situations mentioned above, or rather, would like to meet the better half(!) of that person. Well, even God himself wasn't perfect!"

Disclaimer1: The above facts are based on the experiences of more than one people and some stats gathered from newspapers and do not point to any single person. Just some random observations and a vent to some steam :)

Disclaimer2: I still love my husband and he means the world to me. So all family reading this blog, relax, don't worry, everything's still great :)

PS: If you don't know what MCP means.....well, find someone who knows :)

This one is for all those who were born in the late 70s or early 80s. Flashback 18-20 years to the time we were kids. We would wait for the one hour in the evening which, in our time tables read 'TV'. One hour when we would lose ourselves in Disney World; with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Uncle Scrooge, Baloo, Tom and Jerry. Or Sunday mornings, when the entire family, mums included, would finish all their morning chores by 10 am to catch the weekly episode of Ramayan and Mahabharat. Doordarshan was our life, cable TV a luxury meant only for spoilt kids, a banned item if you wanted to be a “good child”. Fast forward to today. Life without cable TV seems like dal with no salt in it. Be it elders or the children. I just thought if we were to write out a comparison between TV 20 years ago and TV today the way we used to compare stalactites and stalagmites in our exam answer books, it would read something like below:

TV Then	TV Today
Number of hours dedicated to TV = 9/week	Number of hours dedicated to TV = indefinite. Mostly depends on the electricity or inverter charge
Number of channels aired = 2, DD 1 meant for the old people, due to the boring (read that news, views and documentaries aired on it) and DD2 meant for the younger generation, thanks to the songs and cartoons	Number of channels aired = depends on how many you want to buy
Number of channels watched = 2	Number of channels watched = all. Note: Number of channels absorbed into your brain = none
Programs watched – depends on the age of the viewer. Mostly 2, half an hour long cartoons in case of those less than 15 years and a single, hour long serial in case of those greater than 18 years per day	Number of programs watched =indefinite. Mostly browsing between multiple cartoon channels at a frequency of 5 min for those LT 10 years, multiple music and movie channels at same frequency for those between 10-20 years and multiple saas-bahu serials for those above 20 years. Viewership above 20 years is mostly female.
News programs watched = 1 News knowledge gained = national news, international events, weather and sports for the current day	News programs watched = indefinite News knowledge gained = 0
Dinner table discussion = parents, children, school discussion, general discussion or TV news	Dinner table discussion = non existent Dinner = cartoon/teleserial

I guess you get the general idea. Information is great, but where do we draw a line between information and non-information. Less information seems to have more retention power and hence is more effective. We still remember every episode of Surabhi and Duck Tales we watched. Today you can’t even track the number of cartoons available on the multitude of cartoon channels, thanks to which children don’t even want to explore channels like Discovery or History. About how these cartoons impact the minds of the kids is a different question altogether. Will put that into a separate blog. This one was just a statement of my observations, some fodder for you to chew on. Happy musing…. :)

It was the spring of one year

It was the spring of one year
A spring so untimely, yet so pretty
There was no rain
Yet everything seemed fresh
The same old sun shone upon the earth
Yet everything seemed brighter
The winds that blew were no different
Yet they carried the fragrance of headiness
The waves that washed over our feet had touched millions
Yet they were special as they united our steps
Spring was around us as we stood upon the rocks
In the light of the setting sun
The cool spring air that ruffled your hair
As we walked back home
The spring that had come and gone for centuries before us
But had never seemed so close to heart

It was the spring of one year
That was destined to be so short-lived
That would be followed by a winter endless
The winds no longer brought with them your fragrance
The sun shone, but I could not see your face in its light
The waves still lapped at my feet, but now they walked alone
The sun set in the horizon, but there was only one person on the rocks

Springs, that came and went
Would come and go for time eternal
Springs, that brought with them new experiences
New people, new places
Springs, that would never again be so unique
Springs, that would never again be treasured

Remembering...

Everyone has some memories that never fades from the mind, some snapshots, some pictures when time stood still...and a few of these always bring a smile to your lips. Recently a realization struck me, that I am about to complete 3 decades of my life soon. Time really flies. It seems like yesterday when I would sit on the railing of the ground floor house, waiting for my school bus, while my mother tried in vain to make me finish my rolled up paratha; or when we would walk back from the bus stop and my 2-year old brother would stand outside my aunt's place and call out "Manjuuu" (her name was Manjula aunty btw :)); when, as Diwali drew close we would wait everyday for the trip to the crackers' wholesale shop, tallying the crackers bought with the list we carried and loading the bags into the boot of the car; when we waited the whole week for Sunday evening's dinner outside, followed by ice-cream; when it started pouring one evening and my dad decided to bring out his collection of song books (for the uninitiated, they used to be sold outside movie theaters and contained lyrics of songs from the movie) and treated us to Kishore Kumar and Mohd. Rafi melodies (he was a really good singer himself too) accompanied by hot pakoras and tea made by mom; when we would look forward to that time in the evening when dad would return home and do his weightlifting tricks, swing me and my brother at the same time, one hanging on to each arm (:)); the day he taught me about VIBGYOR, and told me if I continued to learn as fast, he would make me his junior one day, something which I would brag about to friends at school; when we would have our birthday parties, choosing the cake design and flavor, inviting all friends, decorating the hall while mom cooked yummy treats in the kitchen....some things never fade from the mind. You remember them as clearly as if they were yesterday. And people who make these memories never fade away either; it's like they are always around you, bringing to your mind these moments when you really need to cheer up, making you smile long after they are gone...

When I was a small girl I used to ask my parents, 'Am I pretty?', and they would reply, ‘You are the most beautiful girl on earth’. That would make me so happy that I would try and do everything that would make my parents happy. What everyone else thought never mattered, what was important was that those I loved thought I was the best. All other compliments were insignificant. And it then remained that way, always.

Why am I talking of this all of a sudden? Actually I saw this ad on TV the other day where the daughter asks her father, ‘Am I pretty?’. So what does the father do to convince her? He buys a car, picks up his daughter from her class (literally!) and takes her on a ride around town. The car is a show stealer and draws everyone’s attention, and the little girl thinks it’s her everyone is looking at. So that convinces her that she is pretty. I’m sure you know what ad I am talking of. If you don’t, then your GK is lower than a 5-year old and it’s time for you to watch some more TV! During a discussion, a friend told me about his 5-year old niece who asked her dad to buy the same car, about which, incidentally, he had not heard much. When asked why she wanted him to buy the same car, she replied coz it would make her friends like her more. Well…..

We keep talking about how ads impact minds of small kids now-a-days. And yet we have this ad which sends out such a strong message to the pre-adolescent age group. While it may be ok for kids to want designer clothes and shoes (after all their parents want them too, so why keep kids away), but is it really right to influence their minds in such a way that inbred qualities like self-confidence and morality end up depending on artificial objects? Don’t they run the risk of growing up as superficial human beings? Is there a solution to keep away kids from being 100 percent influenced by the influx of brands in the market? Don’t ask me, I don’t know the answers, but I am trying to find them. In the meantime, maybe the media can be a little more imaginative and do their bit in helping us bring up our kids as better human beings. After all there is no dearth of good ideas, so maybe choose ideas that sell well too, at the same time don’t play with the minds of kids.

This one is for all those people who have had the experience of traveling by an auto rickshaw. For those who haven't, you have really missed practicing one of those things that Indians are best at-bargaining. For those who have, it might be some entertainment reading my experience with auto rickshaw drivers in 4 different cities - cities of some significance. Starting with our capital, Delhi, this is the place where the rickshaw drivers have the most gumption of all. After all it does take lots of guts to go around with an auto that has no meter in it. So, the first thing that you ask an auto rickshaw driver after telling him your destination is the fare (provided he agreed to drive you there). If you are smug about having found a vehicle a meter, don't be too happy coz in most likelihood you will be told that it does not work. Wonder how no one bothers to check that meters are working when these autos get serviced. After haggling on the fare for a while, getting as rude as you can get, you finally get into the rickshaw, feeling like you have just won a battle and praying that the auto driver doesn't change his mind about the fare by the time you reach! Oh, by the way, I just heard that they started a new club of honest rickshaw drivers in Delhi. Will pray that it works. After all our capital deserves that much!!!
The day I moved from Delhi to Mumbai, I was in for a pleasant surprise. On my first day of travel by public transport, I asked an autowallah to take me to Santacruz. Out of habit, my next statement was "kitna loge" (how much). It came as a shock when he said "meter se" (by the meter). During my ride, I convinced myself that it was just a once in a while thing and congratulated myself on having found an honest driver on the first day itself. The same thing happened the next day and the next and the next, till I finally got used to the fact that finally here was a place where you could get into a rick (that's the Mumbai lingo) without haggling on the fare, without bothering whether the auto wallah would agree to drive you to your destination, and without having to speak rudely. Sounds like heaven...Nope that was Aamchi Mumbai...
From Mumbai, life took me to Pune, and here I was reminded of my Delhi days. Difference, these ricks had meters, which worked too...BUT (there's always one of these), no auto driver would agree to go by the meter. So back to haggling on the fare, albeit in a more civilised lingo. Oh! And if your destination happens to be one of the IT parks then be prepared to pay double fare, no haggling required, because there is no sense in doing so. Their usual reason for not going to any place is that they don't get a return fare...well, obviously, since they r too pricey to take the "sawari"'s!!!
When my parents moved to Bangalore, I came in contact with a totally different kind of auto-wallahs. Their uniqueness lies in their absolute lack of interest. Don't ever be surprised if you ask an auto driver to drive u to some destination and are met with a blank stare, and then you see the auto fellow driving off without even the courtesy to say yes or no. Well, that's the way it is. And off course, if you don't belong to Bangalore, then be ready to be fleeced!!Off course, All these places have their share of good points too. In Delhi, for instance, you will never get bored, coz the auto-fellow will keep up a conversation throughout the way, and you will get to hear all the latest buzz of the town. Mumbai, well, the very fact that they r going by the meter is more than enuf. Pune, you will never get lost, wherever your destination might be, once you are in the auto, you can trust the auto-wallah to take you there by the shortest route. And in Bangalore, trust the auto-fellow to take you safely through the worst kind of traffic and traffic-jams.
I am yet to travel to the eastern part of the country, but be sure I will update this blog once I do so...:)
Disclaimer: This blog is not meant to hurt the sentiments of people belonging to any of these cities. I belong to all of them, so I do not mean offense to anyone in particular...

If I had wings,
I would fly towards the horizon
Floating over white cushions
Their covers streaked in gray

If I had arms as wide as the earth
I would hug the hills to me
Resplendent in its green robes
Decked with cascades of shining silver

If I had lungs that were infinite
I would fill it with the fragrance of greens
The perfume of the wet rocks
And the veils of hanging mist

These were the words that came to my mind as we traversed our way through the clouds that hung thickly over the hills, rising green, forming dark crevices, hiding innumerable small rivulets, streams and cascades of water in their shadows. When Shah Jahan said, “If there is a Heaven it is here”, he surely couldn’t have meant only Kashmir. Heaven indeed is on earth, you just need the eyes to see it. You surely couldn’t drive through hills towering green on one side and a misty lake on the other side, with the spray of light rain on your face, in Heaven!

Beginning at the beginning, we are talking of our line event here. After weeks of discussions, varied opinions, innumerable polls, preparations and cancellations, we zeroed on a one day trip to an eco camp on the river Kundalika, located in Kolad. The highlight of the trip...kayaking. We set off at 6 in the morning, did some Pune darshan, picking up people from different places, even waking up some people from their sleep, finally leaving Pune at 7.30 a.m. It took us all some time to get out of our sleep modes and start off with the all time favorite bus game – antakshari, only deviation from the usual being, Tamil songs were also allowed. So we did have a great 2 words’ song from Siva and a really good attempt from Rajesh :) After a while this got boring, so Dinu came up with the idea of each person talking about his/her funniest incident in Amdocs, which soon got morphed into each person reminiscing about funny incidents in his/her life (read that college life). So we heard about Bruce Lee in Andhra, funny nicknames, teachers on mopeds, ragging sessions and many more, about which we should just keep “Shhhh…” :) Soon the surroundings became too beautiful to be ignored and everyone’s attention was diverted to the scenery all around us. Driving through hills covered in clouds we emerged on to the other side of the ghats. After a while we reached the jetty where we were met by the boat that would take us across the river to the eco camp that was our destination, Rivertrail.

The day at the camp started off with a late breakfast, after which everyone changed into “kayaking” clothes. This was followed by a training session on handling the paddles and getting in and out of a kayak – K2 as we now know it. It’s a wonder that a 10 feet long 1.5 feet broad (at its max) boat can actually take so much weight! Well, this seemed easy; as long as the kayak didn’t topple over in water (which of course the trainer and organizer did their best to convince would not happen). And then after this short training session, we were finally in water. A round of kayaking guided by trainers and then, for those who dared it, kayaking alone, during which Rajesh went off, apparently in search of mobile network, which he seemed to have found upstream near the rapids! Kayaking was followed by lunch. After the morning’s exercise, the excellent lunch and the warm afternoon, the general mood was to doze off in the comfortable chairs of the ‘machan’ which served as the dining room.

The afternoon started off with everyone heading towards the river for river-crossing. This, at first, looked a simple task, especially when we were told that the river at that point was “only” 3 feet deep. But exactly how easy it was, we found out only when we entered the water. The current was strong enough to wash away a person who did not have the rope or swimming skills for support. But once everyone got over their initial fears and apprehensions of water, the one hour passed off as quick as lightning.

Against our wishes, we all returned to the camp after the river-crossing activity. Here, a snake awareness program was on and we lazed around in the late afternoon sun learning what we could about snakes and watching a venomous cobra trying it’s best to bite the snake trainer’s shoe off! After tea and a round of thanks to the organizers we set off on our journey back home. Another beautiful drive through the hills bathed in the light of the setting sun filtered through clouds, a short halt at a waterfall, a relaxed dinner at Garden Court and the day was finally over. A short, sweet and pleasant day that exposed us to some of the beauty this country hides. Truly India needs to be explored to understand its hidden treasures of nature so that we can claim this paradise to be ours for years to come. A day that will be always be remembered with a smile. :)